Sweet surrender

On a Friday night, I'm sitting in a quiet house enjoying the introverted-ness of being alone. Well, alone with a dog and a cat, one of which is chewing a bone quite and one of which is giving me kisses and tickling my feet. I won't specify which one is doing which. It's hilarious to wake up each morning and see a random paw underneath the closed door, trying to swipe at anything she can get, just because she knows I'm awake. It looks so desperately funny!!

I had some time at a coffee shop tonight in the Word before a very loud, out-of-tune band started playing, and I realized something that made me smile. The LORD has so overhauled my life that what He wants to say to me through His Word was more important than my life's agenda. I was more interested in hearing Him and His heart and His plans than I was about my own. I didn't care if His plans disturbed mine. I didn't care if it wasn't what I thought. My only desire was to know His heart and His agenda. It was as if I was in front of a person I would like to know better, listening to them talk, listening to their point of view without regard to my own. I smile because I realize that term "sweet surrender" describes this so well. As I surrender all areas of my life to Him, He sweetly rewards me with replacing my own agenda and thoughts and plans with His own. I don't mean sweetly as in "Aw, how cute...". I mean as I release things I thought were important to me (life plans, any plans in fact, current desires, comforts), their importance paled next to what the LORD's priorities are. How often have I lived this life for myself, with every decision revolving around me. "What will be best for you?" says the world. If I can just encourage you today....when you are in a place of ultimate and sweet surrender, living without regard to your flesh but run by the Spirit of God, the reward of knowing God cannot be surpassed. I can think of nothing greater than knowing Jesus. He can't be topped! He will never be. The more I am broken, the more desperate I am for His presence and nothing else. The more I am suffering, the more I long, the more I ache to know Him. Nothing else, no one else satisfies. Sometimes I long to see Jesus so much I feel like I can't breathe.

Jesus, in this time of struggle, will you keep holding me? I thank you for your constant presence and amazing love that has no bottom, no end of depth. I cannot survive without you. Thank you for saving me.