Current learnings

It is all about Jesus. It's all about Him. I'm going to unpack a little of what He's bringing up in me. I don't have a lot of answers, but I sense Him telling me it's time to start processing. It's time to start writing again. He has me going through what I'm going through for a reason, and it's all about HIS purposes, not my own. Let me elaborate.

Life seems to be full of valleys and mountain tops. On the mountain tops, you see clearly. You can look behind you and see the valleys you've visited, and the peaks you've been on before. You remember well at those moments. You can also look ahead and note that the rest of your life doesn't level out at the mountain top level. It goes back down. I don't think I need to explain valleys to any of you. Some valleys are longer than others. Some peaks last longer than others. It's life. Particularly on this sin-filled earth, it's promised to us by Jesus that "..in this world you WILL have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)

I am in a season of a valley. Praise God....for I am in a season of a valley. Praise God, because He is so near. Praise God, for He is with the broken-hearted. Praise God, for He brings comfort to those who mourn. Praise God, for His eyes are on the humble. Praise God, for he knows the hair on my head and counts every tear that falls from my eyes. Praise God, for His burdens are easy. "Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake I do it, for how shall my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another." (Isaiah 48:10-11)This isn't about me. Let me make that perfectly clear :)

In Romans 1, Paul starts his letter to the Romans by calling himself "a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God". Stop right there. He was called. He was set apart for the gospel of God. That was why he was created. That is also why you and I were created. God has used this valley season to remind me of this. As I've cried and struggled with pain that doesn't seem to be going away, I've again started asking that question of "Why?" I've been arrogant enough to ask "Why me, God?" He has so gently been peeling off layers deep inside me that show me more ways I was hurt and abandoned and mistreated and abused and left lacking in my younger years. He's shown me how I have failed to live the life He's prepared for me. He's shown me how I've lived out of fear instead of whole-hearted, abandoned trust of Him. He's shown me how little I have depended on Him. He's shown me that the family He's given me is of spiritual blood, not physical blood. My sisters, Janette and Kimmie and Jenna and Hallie. My brothers, Keith and Brock and Jon and Ben and Jeromie and Taylor. My mothers, Laurie and Katherine and Cindy and Jean. My fathers, Bill and Paul and Mark and Dave. He has given me a spiritual family, of which there are countless relatives I have yet to meet. My family is not of this world. In the midst of facing pain with earthly family and reminders of what should have been, God has faithfully reminded me of His goodness in providing a spiritual family for me. He has fathered me where I have not been fathered. He has held me when I have longed to be held. There is no time limit of how long I can stay in His arms with my head against His chest, listening to His heart beating. I can simply be with my Daddy, with the One who loves you and whom you love. No agenda, no other reason. I have found immense comfort from the LORD in this.